Petunia
by InitialsLK
Summary: She was my sister and I truly loved her.


**PETUNIA**

Jealousy is a very human emotion. However it is petty when you envy someone for something they cannot control, when it is as natural as the sky being the sky and the earth being the earth. Simple facts really.

But it is my biggest vice, I say biggest because, well I am human which means being without a flaw is impossible. I do not need to explain this, do I? Of course not, it is a fact of life, unless you are much much much younger then I applaud you for being able to read so well. Getting way off the subject at hand.

I love my sister with everything I have, I truly mean that. Do you know I taught her to read and write, she was a fast learner and hardworking; she also had fiery red hair that was mostly everywhere until she came home crying after her first day of school because of it, after that I learnt to braid just so I could braid her hair until she learnt herself.

Then there were the moments where she would jump into my bed because she was frightened by a very loud passing storm, I would be just as terrified but somehow always found the courage to stay and wrap my arms around her, humming both of us to sleep. Times we would fight till we forgot what we were fighting about, then play, smiling, giggling as if nothing ever went wrong.

Then my sister got a letter on her eleventh birthday, she met a lonely boy who like her received the same letter soon after.

That's when everything changed and the jealousy started, she was invited into a world where my parents and I could never truly be a part of; while they loved her more for her specialness…I could only despise what I could not be a part of.

It had been 4 years after, the day I turned 16 to be precise when everything changed, again. In those years before 16, I had learnt to control my envy, thinking of all our good moments despite my sister's growing distance from us, muggles, I had learnt we were called by that strange lonely boy.

From then I thought of only protecting her, what better way than to appear as the enemy.

But she wouldn't be my sister if it was going to be easy. Oh no no no, she found the rowdiest smart arses (pardon my language) to befriend. The distance grew more than I could stand but now the jealousy was what made me remember and anchor me to my goal…to keep her safe.

She married him, the charming one…I don't know, I really thought she would marry her only childhood friend. She is dear to me but I admitted to myself a long time ago, she was flawed as well ...just like me.

Our parents were attacked, all this time worrying about her, how could I forget them…this is all my fault.

I arranged everything, the hearse, the coffins, the headstones and after everyone left, I still stood there, waiting because I knew she was there, I felt my only familiar bond.

There she stood in front of me, as I yelled out that this was her fault…couldn't bring myself to admit it was mine.

I saw her tears and for a split second I saw this little redhead girl with chubby cheeks and the brightest green eyes. My arms stretched out wide and she threw herself into them. We stayed like that for I don't know how long.

That's when she told me of her expecting a little one soon, I smiled like an idiot at the news and placed her hand on my stomach as she chatted away, stopping her, leaving her speechless, it was her turn to smile like an idiot.

It was not in vain, it was not in vain, it was not in vain.

I finally put my sister's little one to sleep.

It is only sinking in, she's gone.

Like our parents before her, I arrange everything including her husband's hearse, coffins and headstones.

I let their wolf friend write on the headstones, and I nodded in the direction of the always strange now lonely man who stood in the shadows of the woods, whatever happened they were very much a part of her later life then I ever was.

My nephew needed me, so did my little lamb and I could not fail again.

And I did not, not when the dear boy with her eyes is standing right there breathing, batted and changed by the world she loved but still strong, still full of hope for others, I'm sure.

He says he lost his mother, I want to smile and say never forget her but instead I say I lost a sister.

I give my son his memories, like me his quick on his feet, he and his cousin have a better parting then my sister and I ever did, we never had a good bye. His left and I am leaving this damnable forsaken house, finally. One last spell, the Aurors turn back to bushes and that man forgets my son and I exist.

My boy asked who his father was, I said a very brave man who would have loved you more than you could imagine.

He got a letter from his cousin, I was waiting for this letter; it was an invitation to a funeral, one I had made all the arrangements to as well because my dear nephew just couldn't; just like his mother and her tender heart. And like his father, my son needed no explanation why, this is important enough to call us from hiding.

Everyone is there in our childhood home, to bury another member of my family. As I look from where we stand, it is clear not everyone survived and over the years I now see the different bonds between people, crystal clear.

I tug at my bond to the two boys, they both look to me in that instant, one green eyed and the other with eyes that shift with the change of light. One looks like he always had while the other no longer has glamour, now a replica of his father except his coloring. No one will be mistaken once they reveal themselves. This is it, I cannot ignore this world, it has been mine since my sister got her letter because she was always a part of my world. Now my boys' world, its time.

They appeared, hooded figures from the mist, silent and grieving. Everyone had their wands out, thinking sneak attack. I knew better, it was my mother's sister and her son, my aunt and my cousin. My feet were rapidly walking towards them, I hadn't realized I was running until I ran right into them before gripping them both tight. I don't know who was holding who up, it was as if we all were breaking but still standing somehow.

I didn't want to pull away but there were introductions to made and explaining to do. So I had to, turning to face the rest of my family, searching until I found the one I was looking for. A hand gently pushed me forward.

Mum gave him a push in the direction of his beloved, reassuring him and I at the same time, explaining can wait but now that our hoods were down, I saw what mum had predicted. The bewildered understanding in every face who saw mine and its resemblance to the man they had just fare welled.

A woman with a stern face but warm teary eyes approaches me, talks about how she worked with my father for years and he was one of the good ones before giving me a hug, I think she regretted never giving my father. Another person approaches me and another and another… I finally notice I had been maneuvered into a nearby house, mum isn't here, where is she… A hand grabs mine, it belongs to green eyes, she's still outside, he sends this thought to me.

I nod my way out the door, on to the wet street, it must have recently rained, I walk until I reach the graveyard and there I see her hugging two people. I can see her reassuring them, she must have felt me near; of course she would. As I approach them, it's a woman about mum's age and a guy about my age, but now that I'm near my range I feel their bonds to us, I look to mum in surprise. She only faintly smiles and nods for me to try.

I find everything, its ugly, dark and amazing, they don't hide anything, they allow me to see everything but most of all, I get to see him, my father and everything he was to them. I look at tired gray eyes on a handsome enough face with blonde hair now left to grow, this was his godson and if that was the love my father had for him, I have no doubt he loved me. I pulled him in for a hug, but I am my mum's son, hugs are given freely. I knew mum had taken the other lady back to the house because my cousin had just arrived and he was not happy. I reached through our bond and I told a story mum had told me during our time in hiding.

It was a simple story about upbringing, bad first impressions, misunderstandings and a lost war. Simple enough, for my message to ring clear, we are all human and we are flawed but we can try and be better, we have to at least try. No time will be the right time, so just start now.

The three boys entered unnoticed, sat in the corner, slowly their group grew. And as the years passed life gave lessons that mended and reminded their hearts of this.

My sister dear, oh lonely boy you too…its time isn't it…I waited long time, I have seen all our children's children and their children! I have learned to be happy again, as did our children. You do not need to say that, please don't. It was the best part of my life loving all our children.

Like my mum before me, I arrange for everything, the hearse, the coffin and the headstone. And like my mum and my eldest twins will after I'm gone, I see what she saw every time she buried one of her bonded, it's enough to reassure me and that in turn calms the rest.

Petunia Evans

Daughter Sister Mother

Bound to Love

Protecter


End file.
